ACT V
SCENE I | Before LEONATO'S house. |
| Enter LEONATO and ANTONIO |
ANTONIO | If you go on thus, you will kill yourself: |
| And 'tis not wisdom thus to second grief |
| Against yourself. |
LEONATO | I pray thee, cease thy counsel, | 5 |
| Which falls into mine ears as profitless |
| As water in a sieve: give not me counsel; |
| Nor let no comforter delight mine ear |
| But such a one whose wrongs do suit with mine. |
| Bring me a father that so loved his child, | 10 |
| Whose joy of her is overwhelm'd like mine, |
| And bid him speak of patience; |
| Measure his woe the length and breadth of mine |
| And let it answer every strain for strain, |
| As thus for thus and such a grief for such, | 15 |
| In every lineament, branch, shape, and form: |
| If such a one will smile and stroke his beard, |
| Bid sorrow wag, cry 'hem!' when he should groan, |
| Patch grief with proverbs, make misfortune drunk |
| With candle-wasters; bring him yet to me, | 20 |
| And I of him will gather patience. |
| But there is no such man: for, brother, men |
| Can counsel and speak comfort to that grief |
| Which they themselves not feel; but, tasting it, |
| Their counsel turns to passion, which before | 25 |
| Would give preceptial medicine to rage, |
| Fetter strong madness in a silken thread, |
| Charm ache with air and agony with words: |
| No, no; 'tis all men's office to speak patience |
| To those that wring under the load of sorrow, | 30 |
| But no man's virtue nor sufficiency |
| To be so moral when he shall endure |
| The like himself. Therefore give me no counsel: |
| My griefs cry louder than advertisement. |
ANTONIO | Therein do men from children nothing differ. | 35 |
LEONATO | I pray thee, peace. I will be flesh and blood; |
| For there was never yet philosopher |
| That could endure the toothache patiently, |
| However they have writ the style of gods |
| And made a push at chance and sufferance. | 40 |
ANTONIO | Yet bend not all the harm upon yourself; |
| Make those that do offend you suffer too. |
LEONATO | There thou speak'st reason: nay, I will do so. |
| My soul doth tell me Hero is belied; |
| And that shall Claudio know; so shall the prince | 45 |
| And all of them that thus dishonour her. |
ANTONIO | Here comes the prince and Claudio hastily. |
| Enter DON PEDRO and CLAUDIO |
DON PEDRO | Good den, good den. |
CLAUDIO | Good day to both of you. |
LEONATO | Hear you. my lords,-- | 50 |
DON PEDRO | We have some haste, Leonato. |
LEONATO | Some haste, my lord! well, fare you well, my lord: |
| Are you so hasty now? well, all is one. |
DON PEDRO | Nay, do not quarrel with us, good old man. |
ANTONIO | If he could right himself with quarreling, | 55 |
| Some of us would lie low. |
CLAUDIO | Who wrongs him? |
LEONATO | Marry, thou dost wrong me; thou dissembler, thou:-- |
| Nay, never lay thy hand upon thy sword; |
| I fear thee not. | 60 |
CLAUDIO | Marry, beshrew my hand, |
| If it should give your age such cause of fear: |
| In faith, my hand meant nothing to my sword. |
LEONATO | Tush, tush, man; never fleer and jest at me: |
| I speak not like a dotard nor a fool, | 65 |
| As under privilege of age to brag |
| What I have done being young, or what would do |
| Were I not old. Know, Claudio, to thy head, |
| Thou hast so wrong'd mine innocent child and me |
| That I am forced to lay my reverence by | 70 |
| And, with grey hairs and bruise of many days, |
| Do challenge thee to trial of a man. |
| I say thou hast belied mine innocent child; |
| Thy slander hath gone through and through her heart, |
| And she lies buried with her ancestors; | 75 |
| O, in a tomb where never scandal slept, |
| Save this of hers, framed by thy villany! |
CLAUDIO | My villany? |
LEONATO | Thine, Claudio; thine, I say. |
DON PEDRO | You say not right, old man. | 80 |
LEONATO | My lord, my lord, |
| I'll prove it on his body, if he dare, |
| Despite his nice fence and his active practise, |
| His May of youth and bloom of lustihood. |
CLAUDIO | Away! I will not have to do with you. | 85 |
LEONATO | Canst thou so daff me? Thou hast kill'd my child: |
| If thou kill'st me, boy, thou shalt kill a man. |
ANTONIO | He shall kill two of us, and men indeed: |
| But that's no matter; let him kill one first; |
| Win me and wear me; let him answer me. | 90 |
| Come, follow me, boy; come, sir boy, come, follow me: |
| Sir boy, I'll whip you from your foining fence; |
| Nay, as I am a gentleman, I will. |
LEONATO | Brother,-- |
ANTONIO | Content yourself. God knows I loved my niece; | 95 |
| And she is dead, slander'd to death by villains, |
| That dare as well answer a man indeed |
| As I dare take a serpent by the tongue: |
| Boys, apes, braggarts, Jacks, milksops! |
LEONATO | Brother Antony,-- | 100 |
ANTONIO | Hold you content. What, man! I know them, yea, |
| And what they weigh, even to the utmost scruple,-- |
| Scrambling, out-facing, fashion-monging boys, |
| That lie and cog and flout, deprave and slander, |
| Go anticly, show outward hideousness, | 105 |
| And speak off half a dozen dangerous words, |
| How they might hurt their enemies, if they durst; |
| And this is all. |
LEONATO | But, brother Antony,-- |
ANTONIO | Come, 'tis no matter: | 110 |
| Do not you meddle; let me deal in this. |
DON PEDRO | Gentlemen both, we will not wake your patience. |
| My heart is sorry for your daughter's death: |
| But, on my honour, she was charged with nothing |
| But what was true and very full of proof. | 115 |
LEONATO | My lord, my lord,-- |
DON PEDRO | I will not hear you. |
LEONATO | No? Come, brother; away! I will be heard. |
ANTONIO | And shall, or some of us will smart for it. |
| Exeunt LEONATO and ANTONIO |
DON PEDRO | See, see; here comes the man we went to seek. | 120 |
| Enter BENEDICK |
CLAUDIO | Now, signior, what news? |
BENEDICK | Good day, my lord. |
DON PEDRO | Welcome, signior: you are almost come to part |
| almost a fray. |
CLAUDIO | We had like to have had our two noses snapped off | 125 |
| with two old men without teeth. |
DON PEDRO | Leonato and his brother. What thinkest thou? Had |
| we fought, I doubt we should have been too young for them. |
BENEDICK | In a false quarrel there is no true valour. I came |
| to seek you both. | 130 |
CLAUDIO | We have been up and down to seek thee; for we are |
| high-proof melancholy and would fain have it beaten |
| away. Wilt thou use thy wit? |
BENEDICK | It is in my scabbard: shall I draw it? |
DON PEDRO | Dost thou wear thy wit by thy side? | 135 |
CLAUDIO | Never any did so, though very many have been beside |
| their wit. I will bid thee draw, as we do the |
| minstrels; draw, to pleasure us. |
DON PEDRO | As I am an honest man, he looks pale. Art thou |
| sick, or angry? | 140 |
CLAUDIO | What, courage, man! What though care killed a cat, |
| thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care. |
BENEDICK | Sir, I shall meet your wit in the career, and you |
| charge it against me. I pray you choose another subject. |
CLAUDIO | Nay, then, give him another staff: this last was | 145 |
| broke cross. |
DON PEDRO | By this light, he changes more and more: I think |
| he be angry indeed. |
CLAUDIO | If he be, he knows how to turn his girdle. |
BENEDICK | Shall I speak a word in your ear? | 150 |
CLAUDIO | God bless me from a challenge! |
BENEDICK | Aside to CLAUDIO |
| I will make it good how you dare, with what you |
| dare, and when you dare. Do me right, or I will |
| protest your cowardice. You have killed a sweet |
| lady, and her death shall fall heavy on you. Let me | 155 |
| hear from you. |
CLAUDIO | Well, I will meet you, so I may have good cheer. |
DON PEDRO | What, a feast, a feast? |
CLAUDIO | I' faith, I thank him; he hath bid me to a calf's |
| head and a capon; the which if I do not carve most | 160 |
| curiously, say my knife's naught. Shall I not find |
| a woodcock too? |
BENEDICK | Sir, your wit ambles well; it goes easily. |
DON PEDRO | I'll tell thee how Beatrice praised thy wit the |
| other day. I said, thou hadst a fine wit: 'True,' | 165 |
| said she, 'a fine little one.' 'No,' said I, 'a |
| great wit:' 'Right,' says she, 'a great gross one.' |
| 'Nay,' said I, 'a good wit:' 'Just,' said she, 'it |
| hurts nobody.' 'Nay,' said I, 'the gentleman |
| is wise:' 'Certain,' said she, 'a wise gentleman.' | 170 |
| 'Nay,' said I, 'he hath the tongues:' 'That I |
| believe,' said she, 'for he swore a thing to me on |
| Monday night, which he forswore on Tuesday morning; |
| there's a double tongue; there's two tongues.' Thus |
| did she, an hour together, transshape thy particular | 175 |
| virtues: yet at last she concluded with a sigh, thou |
| wast the properest man in Italy. |
CLAUDIO | For the which she wept heartily and said she cared |
| not. |
DON PEDRO | Yea, that she did: but yet, for all that, an if she | 180 |
| did not hate him deadly, she would love him dearly: |
| the old man's daughter told us all. |
CLAUDIO | All, all; and, moreover, God saw him when he was |
| hid in the garden. |
DON PEDRO | But when shall we set the savage bull's horns on | 185 |
| the sensible Benedick's head? |
CLAUDIO | Yea, and text underneath, 'Here dwells Benedick the |
| married man'? |
BENEDICK | Fare you well, boy: you know my mind. I will leave |
| you now to your gossip-like humour: you break jests | 190 |
| as braggarts do their blades, which God be thanked, |
| hurt not. My lord, for your many courtesies I thank |
| you: I must discontinue your company: your brother |
| the bastard is fled from Messina: you have among |
| you killed a sweet and innocent lady. For my Lord | 195 |
| Lackbeard there, he and I shall meet: and, till |
| then, peace be with him. |
| Exit |
DON PEDRO | He is in earnest. |
CLAUDIO | In most profound earnest; and, I'll warrant you, for |
| the love of Beatrice. | 200 |
DON PEDRO | And hath challenged thee. |
CLAUDIO | Most sincerely. |
DON PEDRO | What a pretty thing man is when he goes in his |
| doublet and hose and leaves off his wit! |
CLAUDIO | He is then a giant to an ape; but then is an ape a | 205 |
| doctor to such a man. |
DON PEDRO | But, soft you, let me be: pluck up, my heart, and |
| be sad. Did he not say, my brother was fled? |
| Enter DOGBERRY, VERGES, and the Watch, with CONRADE
and BORACHIO |
DOGBERRY | Come you, sir: if justice cannot tame you, she |
| shall ne'er weigh more reasons in her balance: nay, | 210 |
| an you be a cursing hypocrite once, you must be looked to. |
DON PEDRO | How now? two of my brother's men bound! Borachio |
| one! |
CLAUDIO | Hearken after their offence, my lord. |
DON PEDRO | Officers, what offence have these men done? | 215 |
DOGBERRY | Marry, sir, they have committed false report; |
| moreover, they have spoken untruths; secondarily, |
| they are slanders; sixth and lastly, they have |
| belied a lady; thirdly, they have verified unjust |
| things; and, to conclude, they are lying knaves. | 220 |
DON PEDRO | First, I ask thee what they have done; thirdly, I |
| ask thee what's their offence; sixth and lastly, why |
| they are committed; and, to conclude, what you lay |
| to their charge. |
CLAUDIO | Rightly reasoned, and in his own division: and, by | 225 |
| my troth, there's one meaning well suited. |
DON PEDRO | Who have you offended, masters, that you are thus |
| bound to your answer? this learned constable is |
| too cunning to be understood: what's your offence? |
BORACHIO | Sweet prince, let me go no farther to mine answer: | 230 |
| do you hear me, and let this count kill me. I have |
| deceived even your very eyes: what your wisdoms |
| could not discover, these shallow fools have brought |
| to light: who in the night overheard me confessing |
| to this man how Don John your brother incensed me | 235 |
| to slander the Lady Hero, how you were brought into |
| the orchard and saw me court Margaret in Hero's |
| garments, how you disgraced her, when you should |
| marry her: my villany they have upon record; which |
| I had rather seal with my death than repeat over | 240 |
| to my shame. The lady is dead upon mine and my |
| master's false accusation; and, briefly, I desire |
| nothing but the reward of a villain. |
DON PEDRO | Runs not this speech like iron through your blood? |
CLAUDIO | I have drunk poison whiles he utter'd it. | 245 |
DON PEDRO | But did my brother set thee on to this? |
BORACHIO | Yea, and paid me richly for the practise of it. |
DON PEDRO | He is composed and framed of treachery: |
| And fled he is upon this villany. |
CLAUDIO | Sweet Hero! now thy image doth appear | 250 |
| In the rare semblance that I loved it first. |
DOGBERRY | Come, bring away the plaintiffs: by this time our |
| sexton hath reformed Signior Leonato of the matter: |
| and, masters, do not forget to specify, when time |
| and place shall serve, that I am an ass. | 255 |
VERGES | Here, here comes master Signior Leonato, and the |
| Sexton too. |
| Re-enter LEONATO and ANTONIO, with the Sexton |
LEONATO | Which is the villain? let me see his eyes, |
| That, when I note another man like him, |
| I may avoid him: which of these is he? | 260 |
BORACHIO | If you would know your wronger, look on me. |
LEONATO | Art thou the slave that with thy breath hast kill'd |
| Mine innocent child? |
BORACHIO | Yea, even I alone. |
LEONATO | No, not so, villain; thou beliest thyself: | 265 |
| Here stand a pair of honourable men; |
| A third is fled, that had a hand in it. |
| I thank you, princes, for my daughter's death: |
| Record it with your high and worthy deeds: |
| 'Twas bravely done, if you bethink you of it. | 270 |
CLAUDIO | I know not how to pray your patience; |
| Yet I must speak. Choose your revenge yourself; |
| Impose me to what penance your invention |
| Can lay upon my sin: yet sinn'd I not |
| But in mistaking. | 275 |
DON PEDRO | By my soul, nor I: |
| And yet, to satisfy this good old man, |
| I would bend under any heavy weight |
| That he'll enjoin me to. |
LEONATO | I cannot bid you bid my daughter live; | 280 |
| That were impossible: but, I pray you both, |
| Possess the people in Messina here |
| How innocent she died; and if your love |
| Can labour ought in sad invention, |
| Hang her an epitaph upon her tomb | 285 |
| And sing it to her bones, sing it to-night: |
| To-morrow morning come you to my house, |
| And since you could not be my son-in-law, |
| Be yet my nephew: my brother hath a daughter, |
| Almost the copy of my child that's dead, | 290 |
| And she alone is heir to both of us: |
| Give her the right you should have given her cousin, |
| And so dies my revenge. |
CLAUDIO | O noble sir, |
| Your over-kindness doth wring tears from me! | 295 |
| I do embrace your offer; and dispose |
| For henceforth of poor Claudio. |
LEONATO | To-morrow then I will expect your coming; |
| To-night I take my leave. This naughty man |
| Shall face to face be brought to Margaret, | 300 |
| Who I believe was pack'd in all this wrong, |
| Hired to it by your brother. |
BORACHIO | No, by my soul, she was not, |
| Nor knew not what she did when she spoke to me, |
| But always hath been just and virtuous | 305 |
| In any thing that I do know by her. |
DOGBERRY | Moreover, sir, which indeed is not under white and |
| black, this plaintiff here, the offender, did call |
| me ass: I beseech you, let it be remembered in his |
| punishment. And also, the watch heard them talk of | 310 |
| one Deformed: they say be wears a key in his ear and |
| a lock hanging by it, and borrows money in God's |
| name, the which he hath used so long and never paid |
| that now men grow hard-hearted and will lend nothing |
| for God's sake: pray you, examine him upon that point. | 315 |
LEONATO | I thank thee for thy care and honest pains. |
DOGBERRY | Your worship speaks like a most thankful and |
| reverend youth; and I praise God for you. |
LEONATO | There's for thy pains. |
DOGBERRY | God save the foundation! | 320 |
LEONATO | Go, I discharge thee of thy prisoner, and I thank thee. |
DOGBERRY | I leave an arrant knave with your worship; which I |
| beseech your worship to correct yourself, for the |
| example of others. God keep your worship! I wish |
| your worship well; God restore you to health! I | 325 |
| humbly give you leave to depart; and if a merry |
| meeting may be wished, God prohibit it! Come, neighbour. |
| Exeunt DOGBERRY and VERGES |
LEONATO | Until to-morrow morning, lords, farewell. |
ANTONIO | Farewell, my lords: we look for you to-morrow. |
DON PEDRO | We will not fail. | 330 |
CLAUDIO | To-night I'll mourn with Hero. |
LEONATO | To the Watch |
| talk with Margaret, |
| How her acquaintance grew with this lewd fellow. |
| Exeunt, severally |